The Ives Have It By David Ives  Directed by Don Mealy January 27 - 29 and February 1 - 5, 2012  Please be aware that IVES contains strong language and is inappropriate for children SURE THING is a classic of contemporary comedy: Two people meet in a cafe and find their way through a conversational minefield as an offstage bell interrupts their false starts, gaffes, and faux pas on the way to falling in love. WORDS, WORDS, WORDS recalls the philosophical adage that three monkeys typing into infinity will sooner or later produce HAMLET and asks: What would monkeys talk about at their typewriters?  THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE brings together Dawn, a young woman with a stutter, and Don, the creator and teacher of Unamunda, a wild comic language. Their lesson sends them off into a dazzling display of hysterical verbal pyrotechnics—and, of course, true love. THE PHILADELPHIA presents a young woman in a restaurant who has fallen into "a Philadelphia," a Twilight Zone-like state in which she cannot get anything she asks for. Her only way out of the dilemma? To ask for the opposite of what she wants. FOREPLAY introduces a guy named Chuck on a date, then we meet Chuck a few years later on another date. TIME FLIES is about two young mayflies, Horace and May who meet at a party and really hit it off. Later, while watching a nature program on TV, they learn that with a lifespan of one day, they had better make the most of the rest of their lives. DEGAS, C'EST MOI: One morning, Ed decides to be the French painter Edgar Degas. THE MYSTERY AT TWICKNAM VICARAGE: Who killed Jeremy-Thumpington Fffienes? ENGLISH MADE SIMPLE: Jack and Jill receive dating conversation lessons.